college

And now that my first year of college is amost over, i am sure of one thing. I want my senior year of high school back more than anything else i could ever ask for. I miss my friends, i miss how easy life was, how all i had to do was work a few hours a week at a smoothie place and could buy anything i wanted. I was happy. I stayed out all night, broke into houses, politley littered, had bonfires at the beach, chugged beers and cactus cooler, drove to venice every other day, longboarded to claremont, sold weed to transvesties, did doughnuts in the park, had concussions from laying in the back seat of trucks, snorted crack with police officers, drove around like an idiot, never went to school, and yet i wanted to desperatley to get out of upland. why? I'm not sure. Maybe it was the endless fantasizing of what college would be, and how much of a great experience it would be. The wild toga parties, and jello shots and doing whatever the hell i wanted to do whenever i wanted.. hell yeah. But the only thing that college was, was hard. I worked all the time, had horrible 5 am shifts, could never go out, spent all my time studying, and then the homesickness kicked in and made it everything 5 million times worse. i would spend all my money on groceries, utilities,gas, and stupid expenses like dish soap and toilet paper. And those horrible days that just feel like crap, and you go home exhausted and our mom has a delicious home cooked meal and a smile on her face, no longer existed. there were times in college i never felt lonlier, and it was then that i longed for upland the most.
but its not upland, i longed for. What i longed for was those simple moments where you just sit there, and say "damn,this is what life is about." you dont have to be at disneyland, or totally wasted at a party. It can be as simple as driving down mt. baldy, watching the stars through the sunroof, or it can be racing your best friends to del taco at midnight. These are the times i longed for the most during college.

And now that I'm old, or older.. whatever.. ive realized that yeah, those moments were great, and yeah my life was beyond amazing, but its time to grow up. My innocence is long gone, and I'm no longer a kid. And honestly that sucks ballls. But its time to be an adult, and life does go on. It may not be as fun, but all you can do is work hard and truly appreciate and cherish those beautiful moments in life.