music

just a few recommendations of bands with amazing music you probably have never heard of:

the black keys

we were promised jetpacks

magot and the nuclear so and so's

tom brosseau

tv on the radio

texts from last night

so, because i have no life, i was reading texts from last night... and i came across a very interesting text. I mean, most of these texts are like super relatable to any college student.. but sometimes you just come across a text that TOTALLY relates to you

now before you read this imfamous text, i must tell you that my first year in college, i lived in this ghetto ass apartment complex, where everything would break, flood, etc

so the door handle on out apartment would seriously always break off, and when you would slam the door shut, it would go flying into the living room, and you would never be able to find it haha

so this made me laugh pretty hard

(515):

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

daveo mathias

if you dont know who he is, read his blog, watch his videos

he is hillarious

http://daveomathias.com/

i am

A CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY DROP OUT

split an eighth of shrooms just so i could see the universe

SO. one of the things i want to do before i die is shrooms. I finally got ahold of a dealer, and will proceed to eat some on monday. Now, ive always been rather excited about this, yet now that it is real, im unbelievably excited.

While discussing my passion for shrooms with a friend of mine, he explained that on his trip, everything in life that doesn't make sence, e.g. the meaning of life, aliens, and other controversial issues, all make sense.

He then proceeded to say that if our brain can be altered by just a scalpel and that can change our entire personality (lobotomies), then who are we really?

but i digress. the point is, i cant wait to do shrooms on monday

i want to meet the person who wrote this

(586):

There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

college

And now that my first year of college is amost over, i am sure of one thing. I want my senior year of high school back more than anything else i could ever ask for. I miss my friends, i miss how easy life was, how all i had to do was work a few hours a week at a smoothie place and could buy anything i wanted. I was happy. I stayed out all night, broke into houses, politley littered, had bonfires at the beach, chugged beers and cactus cooler, drove to venice every other day, longboarded to claremont, sold weed to transvesties, did doughnuts in the park, had concussions from laying in the back seat of trucks, snorted crack with police officers, drove around like an idiot, never went to school, and yet i wanted to desperatley to get out of upland. why? I'm not sure. Maybe it was the endless fantasizing of what college would be, and how much of a great experience it would be. The wild toga parties, and jello shots and doing whatever the hell i wanted to do whenever i wanted.. hell yeah. But the only thing that college was, was hard. I worked all the time, had horrible 5 am shifts, could never go out, spent all my time studying, and then the homesickness kicked in and made it everything 5 million times worse. i would spend all my money on groceries, utilities,gas, and stupid expenses like dish soap and toilet paper. And those horrible days that just feel like crap, and you go home exhausted and our mom has a delicious home cooked meal and a smile on her face, no longer existed. there were times in college i never felt lonlier, and it was then that i longed for upland the most.
but its not upland, i longed for. What i longed for was those simple moments where you just sit there, and say "damn,this is what life is about." you dont have to be at disneyland, or totally wasted at a party. It can be as simple as driving down mt. baldy, watching the stars through the sunroof, or it can be racing your best friends to del taco at midnight. These are the times i longed for the most during college.

And now that I'm old, or older.. whatever.. ive realized that yeah, those moments were great, and yeah my life was beyond amazing, but its time to grow up. My innocence is long gone, and I'm no longer a kid. And honestly that sucks ballls. But its time to be an adult, and life does go on. It may not be as fun, but all you can do is work hard and truly appreciate and cherish those beautiful moments in life.

fml.

boys suck. the end.

adventures

So im home for spring break and back in LA county!

because basically san diego county sucks from what ive seen

so anyway, me and marcie are driving down to LA, and we go to venice, see the crazizes, have a good time, whatever

on out way home, of course my car, who has never had any problems, ever, overheats and we are stranded in the middle of LA, right off Hoover street

...so what do me and marcie do?

we stand in the middle of the freeway and laugh out asses off...

so five minutes later, after the hysteria dies down, a low-riding ghetto ass car, with 3 cholos stops by and helps us out

accodrding to one of the over-tatted scary beaners, you're supposed to put water and cooling stuff in your car on a regular basis

so i thank the cholos, and we are once again stranded in litterally the middle of the freeway

.....and then highway patrol shows up

keep in mind i have a bong, a piece and a good gram of weed in my car, so of course i was shitting bricks.

anyway, i told them AAA was on the way and they shouldnt worry about me, so they left and me and marcie were once again stranded

long story short we ended up hanging out with some hobos at a mcdonalds while my car was toed to the nearest pep boys so they could tell me my car is broken. no shit.

anyway, somehow we made it home

so i call AA

people

so for those of you who dont know me, i hold the esteemed position of cashier at panera bread. wonderful, right?

and every single day, idiots like to come in and act retarded

now, i dont blame them, perhaps their mothers had meth addictions, or perhaps they were brutally abused as children, but honestly, after an 8-hour death shift when someone comes up to me and asks me what a mug is, i just dont give a fuck

so anyway, for all you idiots who think you are funny

or for all your idiots who dont think youre funny

or for all you idiots who dont know youre idiots

(and if youre wondering to yourself, am i an idiot...the answer is hell yes)

die

18th birthday

so a couple weeks ago, i turned 18.

it was pretty exciting, and since i have made zero friends in college, all my friends came out to the awful town i live in due to my education, and basically we just partied it up.

so thank you to everyone who drove out to the haystack that is san marcos, i appreciate it :)

on the other hand, my parents dont know me well enough to buy me presents, so they gave me a significant amount of cash

the first thing i bought?

seasons 1 and 2 of iCarly, what up adulthood!

LOL @ my life...

well, im sitting at alpine bagel(which is ridiculously delicious btw, i swear all my money goes into this place)and thinking about my life. Yeah, i know, im lame but whatever. This is what I've come up with so far, i hate north carolina, i really want to go home, i hate people who post annoying shit on my formspring about how ugly and slutty i am, and i hate boys. they are so damn confusing sometimes, and i do not think ill ever find a boy thats in it for more than sex. sooooo, yeah. this is my life at the moment. oh yeah, and i really wish i had a car, im convinced that almost all my problems would be solved with a car because then i could go to greenville and visit brittany(one of the only ppl that keeps me sane in this hick state) and i could take road trips this summer to california and be with damaris, who i insanely miss, and is prlly one of the only people in this world that understands me...along with brittany. ok. the end. im done venting for the moment.

damaris is a true beaner.

she hasnt showered since 1989...and currently has pool water and gym in her hair. maybe she should join her mexican brethren and shower in a fountain in LA or something. its alright though...showers are for white people and half beaners like myself anyway.

chicken nugget weed

don't ever purchase weed from someone you don't know

or you will get stuck with un-dank ganja that smells like chicken nuggets

i currently purchased weed from my neighbors dumbass friend, and it doesnt even smell good.

i bet its just a chicken nugget with mold on it

maybe i should eat it

before i go to work...

on another note, i walked into my apartment this morning and it smelled like weed

no one slept here last night

should i be concerned?

FIVE MILLION DOLLARS

SO being a college student, i have run into some financial difficulties

i am currently prostituting myself, contact me for more info

price for my virginity is five million dollars

no old men

thanks

types of guys im into....

...unfortunately, like every other girl, im attracted to badasses. yea...they can be jerks, but there is something sooo sexy about a badass. give me some piercings, maybe some tattoos and genuine swag and im in love. guys who are too nice and that want to pledge their undying love for me after, like a month, scare me and im going to drop you immediately. I'm not saying don't tell me how you feel about me, because I hate all that confusing game playing shit too, but, i dont know, just be a little badass okay!

i also love a guy who's just a bit possessive...not like scary possessive and doesnt let me party and chill with my friends(guys and girls), but a guy who gets a little jealous when a guy talks to me at a bar, or comes up and puts his arms around me at the club so everyone knows im with him, or something like that...that makes me feel special...and that's always good if your trying to get into my pants or something. lol jk. but yeah.

if im with you, either if im talking, exclusively fucking (lmao), or dating you...i want to be YOUR girl, and not one of many other girls...cause i can, and will, be a jealous bitch too.

oh yeah, and im a bitch so if your one of those that takes my shit like a little pussy, get outta here. hahahaha...for real though.

basically...i want someone to party with, someone who will wrestle with me now and then( sexually and flirty-like hahaha), a little badass-ness, and a sweet person at heart, but not a pussy.


....is that too much to ask for???? hahaha.

wanna get laid?

i think i speak for all females when i saw that skateboarders are the most attractive people on the face of the earth

tony hawk, ryan sheckler, Steve-O, bob burnquist, ETC

lords of dogtown, pretty much proves my point

hell, put a hobo on a skateboard and i guarantee him some pussy

damaris is a pedophile

...this just in: damaris is in love with justin beiber. ew.

?

cheyenne's boyfriend

SEX by damaris

darius was inquiring about sex.

Now, Darius is cheyenne's friend, and he wants to know my thoughts/opinions/feelings etc. about sex. Personally, im not sure why, because if he is cheyenne's friend, he probably knows a lot more about sex than i do.

I think sex is really gross, especially when my roomate does it on the futon where we watch tv, and i drop my potato chips on it, and then i probably eat dead sperm.

another thing i think of when i hear the word sex is STDs and crack whores

but all my friends are sluts, so i dont really care

that is all.

P.S. Our entries were independently written without consulting each other

sex by cheyenne

darius wants us to talk about sex. so here we go....

damaris is super immature and her post will be really stupid.

i love sex. damaris and i have actually discussed getting giant DTF tattoos on our forehead. but seriously...we arent really THAT slutty. but sex is an important aspect of a relationship, and my philosophy will always be, "you've got to test the car out before you buy it." all those bible thumpers out there that are waiting for "the right person," or whatever...news flash...when you pop your cherry the first night of you WEDDING NIGHT...its gonna suck and be no fun at all, and nobody wants that.

I'm not saying jump into bed with everyone you meet, or everyone that is attractive, but if you want to do it, wrap it up and do it.

...and sluts will get so much more respect if they just said they were sluts...nobody's hating your game pimpin...if more sluts came out and said they were sluts maybe it would be more socially acceptable.

hmmmm.

HEALTH CARE

So, the latest thing in the news is health care.

Many people want to debate this, or they think Obama was wrong in doing this...blah blah blah

whatever.

for those of you out of the loop, i can sum it up in two words: shut the fuck up.

tyra

our goal is to become popular internet sensations, so that we can guest star on the tyra show

CHEYENNES FAMILY

this is damaris' family

they have down syndrome.

damaris is a bitch with no morals who just spit cheese at me via skype.

distance

this is how far we have lived from each other for 3 years, and we are still best friends

basically...nc sucks and i want to go home.

basically....

...i taught damaris everything she knows. without me, she would not be educated in the ways of prostitution, selling weed to transvestites, falling in love with jerk boys....you know...that sort of thing.

we figured that even though i moved away to be a half-beaner farmer in nc, and she is still living in california, that we still had an obligation to inform society of our adventures, our hilarious insights, and our skype conversations. also, please give us topics to discuss...we would love to enlighten you with our genius.

cheyennes hobbies

belly dancing while cooking

mugging old ladies

making margaritas out of kool aid

ANGER manamement

this is our first post

we decided to start one, because basically we are hilarious

cheyenne is currently yelling at some dude

the words "quit talking out of your ass" are pretty much the last things ive heard her say in 10 minutes

she's pretty ghetto, but how else do you think we get our cocaine?